When You Need To Fly

Behind the music

Most of these didn't make the cut on previous albums, and some others are more recent.  I decided to self-sanction the opening of my archive vault, which is a fancy way of saying I decided to listen to a bunch of songs I had in a folder on my computer I named "Average," then thought I wouldn't mind if these became publicly findable and streamable, even though I don't expect any of them to become popular.  

Releasing an album requires decision making, and I thought sharing my rationale might be interesting for those wanting to learn more:

• Song Selection Decision:  At first glance, you might see the word “down” in a few of the song titles and think this will be a bummer of an album, but it has many positive, happy, humorous, and hopeful songs as well.  When reviewing the batch of available songs for this album, I self-graded them all in the B range - you know, like grades in school.  In other words, there were not any that got an A, but I considered them release-worthy enough, according to my own low standards.  I maybe had about 25 total songs written and recorded, then I weeded out several that were Cs and a couple Ds that no one will ever hear.  Some of these didn't make the cut when being considered for past albums, but I decided people should hear them anyway, and the rest are fairly new.  Best available begs for a frame of reference, and Bs for me are maybe Ds for others, but comparison is pointless.  Waiting for higher quality songs and recordings to show up and replace some of these was an approach option that I chose not to exercise.  No artist keeps topping themselves with each new album throughout their career, but those not considered among the best in their catalog often contain some hidden gems, so that’s what I was hoping for here, but sometimes it’s a forest/trees issue and thus just really hard to tell.  Although it's clearly a step down in quality from my last album, which contained several A minuses at least, none were bad enough that I thought no one else should ever hear them.  It's not my best album, according to my own self-rating system, but nonetheless contains some songs that I thought some of you might find interesting and entertaining. 

• Number Of Songs Decision:  I thought about removing the last six so I could end up with thirteen songs like my albums usually have, but then thought to myself, what the heck, just release all 19 of them.  I didn’t have plans for some future album project where I’d save some for that one because they might fit thematically or anything like that.  One side of my brain was thinking I shouldn’t release any of them, while another was telling me they’re all sort of equally good enough, or probably more accurately equally mediocre enough.  There’s no fixed standard or duration restrictions anymore like you had with vinyl, cassette or compact disc media space limitations.  Additionally, I was thinking that having 13 songs on most of my albums was pushing my luck to begin with, and with this being my 13th studio album, decided to not push it again.  Instead of the double trouble that two 13s could theoretically bring, I ended up with what might qualify as being considered a double album, and taking into consideration that longer albums seem to be a recent trend, I decided on these 19.  As an afterthought, 19 is an age when you think you’re way better than you are, then the real world knocks you down a few pegs, so maybe this album’s reception will be like that, which is possible.

• Song Order Decision:  So, what do you do with a bunch of mediocre songs?  If you're me, you decide the track sequence will be in descending order from best to worst, with the first few being in the B+ area, the middle ones being Bs, and the last several being B minuses.  I’ve never done this before, but it felt right.  I typically try to build in some variety to hold the listener’s attention, saving some of the better ones for last, but this time I decided to try a different approach.  I’ve had several albums with a song title that is the same name as the album title before, and I can’t remember without checking if I’ve ever put the title song as the second track or not, but I thought it  has the advantage of making it more likely people will listen to the first two songs at least.  Theoretically, the album’s descending quality from beginning to end means it will keep getting worse as you listen to each subsequent album position number, but one never knows when there’s a deep cut surprise buried in the bottom of the batting order that gets a hit, to use a baseball analogy.  That's the honest truth about how this order came to be, or rather, how it came to B. 

• Title Decision:  I could have just named the album “B”.  These songs don’t have much in common with each other, except that I didn’t bring my A game for any of them.  I also considered calling it "More Leftovers" due to having a similar concept as "Lockdown Leftovers" - which is just that it's a bunch of unrelated songs I had laying around for a while.  It’s not a concept album in any way, and there’s no overarching theme really that I could discern.  Collectively, and lyrically, it is a bunch of songs that are a mixture of having a negative outlook near the beginning, that progresses to being a little more positive near the end.  It could be random, or it could be telling – that my best are more cynical and my worst are more cheerful – which is maybe not what you want as a songwriter, but nevertheless reality this time around.  Maybe depression influenced me, but no one can be happy all the time, and that’s why people can relate to songs that are not happy.  However, since I had a hopeful, positive-message song among the best, I thought its title would also be a good name for the album, so I tentatively decided on “When You Need To Fly”.  Influencing this choice was the fact that it’s probably the first song I’ve released on which I played electric guitar, and not only that, it’s a custom guitar my cousin Mike Cooley made for me and gave to me, so that made it a standout candidate.

• Cover Decision:  The title decision (and subsequent cover decision) became final when I was perusing some stunning photographs taken by my nephew Riley Hart, and this one jumped out at me because at the top, right, there is a bird that decided it needed to fly.  Symbolically, it reflected to me the meaning of the title track song, and further may describe me as a solo artist, in that this bird, like me, decided to stray from the rest, be the first to separate from the flock, be his own bird, not be afraid to do his own thing, break from conformity, follow his own path in life, and embrace his individuality as I have with my music.  When you’re a fiercely-independent, DIY, self-releasing, self-contained solo artist not signed to a record label, you can do whatever you want, however you want, whenever you want.  Indeed, I write, record and release songs that I like myself, with the hope others will too, but I don’t follow trends to chase popularity…like that bird.  Plus, I knew that since this might not be regarded as my best album, I needed to make up for that with compelling cover art.  I additionally thought that the shades of gray in the photo suggest the subject matter of life’s ups, downs, and in-betweens, while representing an expectation that the music will be more subtle and interpretive.

• Release Date Decision:  This one follows my pattern of releasing a new album on my birthday, which is June 21, however, I usually do it in even-numbered years, every two years.  For this one, I had more songs than usual, earlier than usual, so atypically decided I would let these go out into the wild of public streaming availability in an odd-numbered year.  A part of me thought I could wait until 2026 to keep on the previously-established schedule, but then another part of me thought that since I’m getting older, I might as well put them out now before some age-related health issue prevents it.  Could I have done more weeding out and waiting to knock some of these off the candidate consideration list by writing new, better songs to replace them with if I had another year?  Yes, but I didn’t.  You never know when the muse will be estranged or for how long, and as a solo artist who has perhaps wisely not given up their day job, it’s been rare for me to have such a prolific period, so I simply thought I might as well make (and release) hay while the sun shines.

Final Thoughts:

Sometimes when life's circumstances and constraints have led you to feel stationary, you have the urge to fly and be free.  That also helps explain the desire I felt to be creative and then release those creations out into the wild.

I didn't try too hard or push myself or get in my own way with any of these songs.  I just let them happen.  With the vast majority, the writing and recording happened very quickly, as if I was in a flow state or in the zone.  This is almost always what happens with me for this hobby.  

One exception comes to mind that was a revision of an older song with new lyrics and a new recording.  There were a handful of other songs available that I chose not to include for various reasons.  At one time, I was "on the fence" about whether or not to release any of these recordings of these songs, but then when I changed my perspective, it became clear these 19 were worthy.

Do I think it will be my best album?  No.  The song-quality level isn't as high as my last album.  Do people always surprise me when their favorites are different than my own?  Yes.  I have a strong feeling that will happen again with this one, and I'm offering more than usual to select from.

I trust that my self-rating system and steps to narrow down what would make the cut were solid enough that I won't have big regrets.  It's not as if it was some big decision that I spent a lot of time on.  Maybe an hour or so of thinking it through as I re-listened to all of them again, and jotting down some notes.  I also blogged about it, which helped.  I'm confident that these rightfully made it through my weeding out process. 

I'm now (at the time of release) very relaxed about releasing this album.  I believe it was a good decision at this time in my life.  Picking these songs, in this order, with this title, and with this cover art, were all good choices.  I have a preconceived notion that existing fans will like this one, and that the fanbase will continue to grow as a result.